you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
