I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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