He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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