Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
