To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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