i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
