Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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