my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
