I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
