sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
