I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
