What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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