Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
