Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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