When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
