before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
