im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
