you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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