remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
