normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
