Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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