Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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