i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
