I'm drive I can fine osifer
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
