lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
