Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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