He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize