i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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