she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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