sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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