Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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