just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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