awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
