i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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