11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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