I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
