Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it's great music for shaving your balls
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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