I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
