I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
