Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
