But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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