I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
