you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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