Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Help. Why am I so naked?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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