i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize