ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize