I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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