I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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