jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
