I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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