Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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