yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Threesome in a minivan. New low
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
