somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
