Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Already got asked if we're dating
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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