I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
