Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
