Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
