You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
