I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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