they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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