; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
