So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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