singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
